


A Random Afternoon of Ennui

by Ihatewriting



Series: Who said what in that little town somewhere in Colorado? [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Complete, Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihatewriting/pseuds/Ihatewriting
Summary: Just our four South Park boys enjoying a leisure afternoon, watching some good old contents.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker, Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Series: Who said what in that little town somewhere in Colorado? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1688284
Kudos: 17





	A Random Afternoon of Ennui

**Author's Note:**

> The entire story has only dialogues, as I am trying to practice writing character dialogues without dialogue tags. Characters are presumed fourteen and fifteen years old. I tried my best to be faithful to the original characters, but some amount of OOC is expected. This is a Style story, all the other relationships are only briefly mentioned. Contains offensive slurs.

“I heard we were very popular there!”

“I don’t know, Stan, watching ourselves sounded really weird…” 

“What you two gay twats are doing?”

“Hey you two want to join us? We are going to see all the fan fictions of ours!”

“I didn’t say I am actually gonna do it!” 

“Hmm! Hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm!” (That! Sounds interesting!)

“I am leaving!”

“Oh you want to pussy out Jew?”

“Shut up fat ass! What kind of people will want to see fanfics of themselves?”

“Dude don’t go yet! Don’t you want to know how other people precieve our life?”

“But…”

“Hmm hmm hmm.” (Just sit down.)

“What website are you on?”

“I don’t know, some fanwork website. We ran upon by accident. There are so many work under the tag of ‘south park’!”

“Who would want to write about our little shitty town?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?! Hmm hmm hmm hmm!” (Can we check them out already?! I am exited!)

“Yeah yeah yea, Kyle are you ready?”

“No.”

“Click that one… Oh… oh… oh what the fuck? Holy shit…”

“Hahahahahaha…”

“These assholes paint us! How fucking dare they drew us like this?!”

“Hmmhmmhmmhmmhmm… hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm!” (Hahahahaha… look at your face, Stan!)

“Dude you are reading porn on there!”

“Hmm hmm hmm.” (Quite accurate.)

“How the fuck dare they drew us like this? Our eyes are half of our faces! Jew you somehow looked even more like a fucking nerd!”

“God damn it… I don’t look like that?”

“Hey a suit and a pair of glasses. Suite you? You have to admit?”

“No! I don’t agree, at all!”

“Next picture, next picture… Hahahahahaha! Kyle you look like a fucking girl!”

“Oh god! Why would they draw me like that?”

“Holy shit Kenny you are damn handsome in this one!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (I am handsome.)

“Kenny don’t fool yourself. Let’s see there is this one…Eh!”

“Eh! Is that us cross dressing?”

“Click the next one already!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (I am a quite good looking girl there.)

“Next… Oh god, we are just girls in this one!” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!” (Damn I look hot here!)

“Kenny you fucking fag…”

“Dude put it down already!”

“Right, next one… oh… oh damn! Hahahahaha!”

“Hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!” (Damn they drew Craig handsome as well!)

“Wow this art was uploaded before they got together…” 

“Holy shit they predicted the future?” 

“Would you stop being stupid Cartman.”

“Dude think about it! We didn’t know back then, did we? We put the two into a fight and that is about it! How can these people tell from so long ago that they will be together? There is only one explanation! They can either predicting our future, or manipulating us!”

“I don’t… I don’t…”

“Holy god, there are so many of them two…”

“Hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?” (Eww! Why is that one me and Craig?)

“Oh right… hahahaha you looked ridiculous!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Well I am very attractive, I will admit.)

“Stop being a smug… Cartman! This one is just you!”

“Damn! They turn me into a gangster!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Way too goodlooking for you.)

“Oh shut up Kenny! I am good looking!”

“Hmm hmm hmm.” (You are fat.)

“Big bone you poor fuck!” 

“Oh… oh… Hahahahaha! Are they drawing this fat piece of shit here?”

“Yeah I guess. Man you got some fans here.”

“This fat piece of shit? This picture? Cartman? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Kyle if you keep laughing I will gun you down like I will to a hobo dog.”

“AHAHAHAHA! Fat ass! Don’t delude yourself, you don’t look even half this! Ahahahaha…”

“Where is my fucking gun…”

“Wait this next one is an article. The keywords are our four’s names, and south park… Explicit? How? Male and male relationship… what? Content warning? Underage? Unfinished… THE DEATH OF MAIN CHARACTERS?” 

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm” (A zombie apocalypse… how unoriginal.)

“Why will they want us dead?”

“Oh god if they can predict the future of Craig and Tweek, so does that mean we will all die soon?”

“Yeah, fat ass, you are totally right, zombie apocalypse, you better start hoarding now. Go to your buncker.”

“I wouldn’t let you in if the zombie apocalypse did happen you redheaded fuck…”

“Oh, here is four of us.”

“Hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Aww, how heartwarming.)

“Right?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (We are small little kid.)

“Yeah, and wow they drew you fat even when you are just a kid.”

“Big bone! I told you all that didn’t I? Now you can believe my words.”

“I believe if you lay off the damn chips you wouldn’t be this fucking obese…”

“Oh shut up Jew! You and your disgusting ginger freckles are that much better looking, aren’t they?”

“They are not that obvious!”

“Oh tell yourself that! Look here the next picture is you! You are a fucking soulless ginger!”

“Oh shut up fat ass.”

“No you shut up!”

“Alright would you two quiet down a bit? This next one is a video!”

“Hmm? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?” (Huh? Are they animating us?)

“Oh fuck we are so damn tall… next one is story again… RAPE?!”

“Rape? Did I hear “rape’?”

“What? Are they really writing that? Are they that savage?”

“Hmm, hmm hmm hmm.” (Kyle, this is art.)

“Really? A story about the boys in south park, explicit and adult only, multi-relationships, content warning, unfinished, non-consensual sex and oh, underage, cause why not? This is disturbing!”

“Well maybe people just like writing us like that you know? They could have think: oh! Rape is necessary for me expressing my love to this town, or something like that? You can’t really judge them for it.”

“Well I am not judging or anything…”

“AHAHAHAHAHA! Kyle! You are the bottom in this one!”

“Wow, I am devastated.”

“Oh damn Kenny you and Butters!”

“Hmm? Hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Huh? I can dig that.) 

“Another picture of us, pretty cool… a picture of our school, that is kinda nice… god Craig and Tweek are really popular on this site… there is you, Kenny, reading porn once again… Kyle... wow... yours are... good… Me… oh they drew me quite decent! They drew me quite decent and… Cartman! Damn you are fat in this one!”

“What you think I am not handsome enough?”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Very handsome.)

“Damn Kenny you fans like you a lot!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm…” (Handsomeness does come with some side effect…)

“Yeah stop it Kenny, you are leaving the ground, come down a bit… Ha! Cartman you have some ugly ass paintings!”

“I swear to god I will shoot your in the face, redhead.”

“I am not lying or anything? Look for yourself! You and that disgusting bowl of chili.”

“That was a masterpiece.”

“Murder if anything.”

“Where the fuck did I put my gun… Oh… oh! Oh HOLY SHIT! Is that you two up there kissing? AHAHAHA! What fags!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm!” (Holy shit you guys are getting on!)

“Oh my god… dude there are so many about two of us…”

“Oh don’t click in then, Stan!”

“Hmm! Hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Here! Wow, how cute you two look here? Enjoying passionate kiss.)

“Commentary not necessary, Kenny!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm, hmm hmm. (Here you two are hugging in the snow, and here you two are taking a nap on the bench… and oh, kiss again.)

“I am flabbergasted!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm… hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (They don’t draw you two bad either… Oh how heartwarming, what a beautiful pair.)

“Kyle… people are drawing us together…”

“Yes! Stan! I can see it with my eyes!”

“~Fags, you guys are fags~”

“You are literally retarded, you know that?”

“I am not the one being drew as a fag!”

“I am sure if we want, we can find that any second!”

“You just want us to move away from paintings of you kissing Stan!”

“I don’t…”

“Yes you are Kyle! Look! This next one is you two again! Oh an entire article! Having sex as well! So so many! They could predict the future, so if they can predict Craig and Tweek homo for each other, then they must already know you two are gay! Admit it, PC is here and no one will bully you for it.”

“Really? Thank you for your tolerance then, shall I?”

“You are very bloody welcome, you fucking Jew…”

“Hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm... hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Kyle, you look cute in this one. I would not mind you being the... oh there you go, us two making out.)

“You just want everything in your world to fuck, Kenny, stop it.”

“Hmm.” (Tits.)

“I don’t see much works of the girls on this site.”

“There he goes! Trying to distract us from them making out again! He just couldn’t admit it, could he? They can predict the future, just lean in would you?””

“Oh shut the fuck up you fat fucking ass! Guess what! If you really want to see some fantasy of yours, I am more than gladly to help!”

"Huh... is that me? And is that you... oh god they are drawing me and you being fags!"

"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm." (Kyle you are very popular.)

"I don't know why? I am not the one that wrote these!"

“Hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?” (Hey, Cartman, are you hungry yet?)

“Hell yeah. Get me outta here.”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.” (Let’s go downstairs grab something.)

“Stan’s house has nothing to eat!”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm… hmm?” (Just come you fat dumb fuck… Kyle?)

“Yeah? Wait, don’t just go now, grab me something as well! What is with that wink he did…”

“Kyle.”

“Yes? Let’s just go watch something else…”

“Wait, don’t you want to see more of this site first? I want to see more.”

“Dude you have better things… oh that is me? Really?”

“Yeah…”

“I look girly!”

“It’s cute… It’s good looking…”

“Oh I don’t know… this is an fan fiction of us.”

“Wow, they really want us to be together, don’t they?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… but you know, just fans are like that you know…”

“Kyle.”

“Huh?”

“What do you think?”

“What?”

“These… works…”

“You believe what fat ass said? Don’t be stupid they don’t tell the future.”

“No… not that you dumb ass… I said… what do you think of these… paintings… fanfics of us?”

“What… what can I think about it? I don’t… you know, good paintings... talented artists, all very talented… what… what do you think of them…”

“They are alright. Then… what do you think about… us… in these paintings…”

“What… no, I don’t… why are you asking…”

“I just want to know.”

“I don’t… I don’t…”

“Kyle, look at me.”

“I am looking at you.”

“What do you think… of me?”

“You are my best friend! You know, a very good friend of mine…”

“Kyle, you are also a best friend of mine.”

“Thanks… thanks…”

“And, Kyle.”

“Yes.”

“There is huh… huh… I don’t, the paintings are… I think I might have…”

“What? What are you saying, Stan.”

“Do you… dislike the paintings?”

“No… Stan… I couldn’t… I don’t how am I gonna say… You…”

“Look… just listen to me, alright? Look me in the eyes.”

“Okay, I don’t…”

“…”

“…”

“Hey gaytards we are back! Stan you don’t have shit in the house… what the fuck?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm?” (Are you two banging?)


End file.
